 In recent years the rise of wedding blogs and the sharing of wedding photographs on the internet has led to huge changes in the way we look at weddings. Where once the path was simple – a traditional church wedding, probably followed by a reception at a large hotel, now couples want to really put their stamp on every element of their wedding day, from the type of reception they want to hold to the running of the ceremony itself.
When it comes to the legalities however the UK is far from the forefront of adapting to these changes. The rules remain strict and fairly frigid – you can only be married under a fixed roof, most of the wording must remain the same and it’s largely up to the individual registrar/celebrant how your ceremony is run, and it’s not always done so to the taste of the couple themselves.
The problem is amplified by the fact that, particularly in the case of civil ceremonies a registrar is often simply assigned to your wedding on the day. You may never have met them before, never discussed any element of the day with them nor have any idea (save for the mandatory legal vows) what they are going to say during the ceremony. Worse still they hold a great deal of power and may on the spot refuse to allow things you’ve put months of planning into. If time is running tight and they are needed elsewhere then they may cut parts of the ceremony, they may decide to ban photographers or videographers from recording and because they don’t know you it’s very easy for them to accidentally get names wrong or forget about a request you had made. This is not meant as an attack on registrars – indeed most are extremely accommodating and do an absolutely fantastic job, but with all these potential issues combined it’s leading more and more couples to abandon the legal part of their wedding day altogether and choose to have the type of ceremony they want, legally binding or not.
.jpg "outdoor ceremony") Image by York Place Studios It’s now become extremely commonplace to pop down to the registry office the day before the wedding and complete the legalities there and then with varying degrees of pomp and circumstance. As long as the basic legalities are fulfilled it doesn’t really matter how grand the registry office ceremony is – you can head down there in jeans and a t-shirt, say a few words and simply sign some papers if you wish. There’s no obligation to exchange rings, have readings or even say very much and whilst most choose to mark the occasion to some extent, keeping the legal proceedings very basic keeps them separate from that feeling of actually getting married on your wedding day.
This leaves you free to have literally whatever kind of wedding you want, free from the shackles of legal wedding requirements and what’s been done before. As a result the humanist ceremony has seen a massive rise in popularity, with couples selecting a friend or relative to conduct the ceremony, perhaps getting married outside in the sunshine, and speaking words that perhaps mean little legally in legal terms but mean so much more in terms of the emotional depth of the promises made on such a personal level. After all weddings are supposed to be an emotional choice, not a practical one, and what really means more to you on an emotional level – repeating a legal mantra or making a heartfelt vow in your own words and in your own voice?
For those whose wedding is not influenced by any religious beliefs getting the legalities “out of the way” beforehand is changing from a choice made only out of necessity when getting married abroad to simply another decision made on personal preference – does the wedding you want to have fall within the limitations outside factors place on you? If your plans follow a reasonably orthodox structure then perhaps getting legally married on the day gives it more impact and there’s no reason not to do so. But if your dream wedding goes beyond what the rules will allow you to do then I say don’t let that stand in your way. It’s your wedding day, no-one else’s and on that one special day you get to set the rules for a change. Don’t let legalities define your wedding day, a marriage isn’t about legal status, it’s about expressing the way you feel about each other and about a solemn promise between two people; a promise that only truly binds you from the moment you both give your heart and soul to it, not the moment you sign a contract.
 Having your picture taken professionally can feel really rather strange. From pretty much the moment we first start to crawl we’re told to stop dead still, look at the camera and say cheese in order to get a nice picture. The trouble is that the resulting pictures tend to be… well… cheesy!
Enter the professional photographer and the first thing they want is for you to forget about everything you’ve ever been told about having your picture taken. Instead of turning your body face on to the camera they want you to do things like turn and look at each other. Instead of staring into the lens and grinning like a cheshire cat they’ll give you instructions like “just be natural”. But what the hell is “natural” anyway? In our everyday lives we don’t stop in a fixed position we move around, we don’t force conversation with our partners, we just naturally chat. It’s a strangely forced environment and it’s very difficult to really know what to do with yourselves.
.jpg) One of our wedding shots by Ed Peers Each individual photographer will have their own style and will be looking to capture a slightly different type of shot. Sometimes they will be looking for a close in and capturing little smiles and hints of emotion, sometimes they will be shooting much wider and looking for the shape of the body and the perfect framing against a particular background. Some photographers like to capture a little bit of movement in their shots and might ask you to walk up and down a little, change your positions around or do something entirely less orthodox. Sometimes however natural they ask you to act, the thing that they’re asking you to do just isn’t going to feel natural at first. In fact it often might not feel like it’s even going to make a half decent photograph, however there’s only one real solution if you want to ensure that you do come away with some great photographs:
Have faith and Commit to the Moment.
 Photoshoot with Fer Juaristi If you’ve done your research and made sure you’ve booked the right photographer for you then hopefully you already understand what they’re about and you’ve looked through their work to find the style of portraiture they aspire to capture. If you like that style then you have to have faith that your photographer is able to create that same style for you. The other thing we’re taught about photography from a young age is that you simply stand in front of an interesting background – a landmark perhaps, or if that’s unavailable you just find somewhere nice and sunny to make the shot look pretty. Sometimes this may be true in professional photography but actually, very broadly speaking, your photographer is more likely to be seeking out what, on the face of it, looks like a very plain background (an old brick wall for example) and are more likely to look for shade than bright sunlight. Have faith that the photographer knows what they’re doing – what looks good on a professional camera may be completely different from what you’d expect. Once you have that faith it’s much easier to just go-with-the-flow and genuinely enjoy yourselves, and once you do start to genuinely enjoy it suddenly acting natural isn’t such an alien idea after all…
Photo-shoot with Nirav Patel It’s important to remember though that with portraiture in particular your photographer can only do so much. They can offer as much direction as they like but unless you can commit to that moment and really go for it then the final image will not have the same impact. It’s a little like acting, only you’re playing the part of yourselves. The more you commit to what you’re being asked to do the more natural it begins to look and the more powerful the image will be. The photographer wants to capture your personalities and will do all they can to help bring that out of you, but they can’t control the look of love in your eyes, the coy little smile you only give each other, the way you crinkle up your nose when you laugh; these are the things that can take a photograph from simply a 2d image on a piece of paper to a masterpiece of memories full of depth, full of character and full of life – your life.
There are no real hard and fast rules about what’s going to make the best shot, it depends completely on the individual photographer, on the moment, the type of shot and on your personalities and quirks. Just enjoy the time together, forget about your preconceptions or any ideas that you’re not photogenic. Your photographer is there to make you look good – enjoy it, relax, have faith and commit to the moment. And whatever you do, don’t say cheese.
Our Civil Ceremony, Photograph by Liam Shaw
Posted inA Photographer's Thoughts,Photography,Photography & VideographyTags: A Photographer's Thoughts,Bride Vs Groom,ed peers,Fer Juaristi,Liam Shaw,Nirav Patel,Posing,Wedding Guidance,Wedding photography,york place studios
 Whilst acting in my professional capacity as a “fly on the wall” at a wedding recently watching the dance-floor become an increasingly raucous, overflowing hive of laughter, exuberant dancing and what I can only presume started out as dancing but now resembled an attempt to escape attack from a swarm of bees in fast forward, I looked at all those happy, carefree faces and a question sprang to mind: Why is it that we allow our inhibitions so often to get in the way of our enjoyment of life?
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s good to have a few inhibitions, otherwise everyone would tell their bosses what they really think of them and the unemployment level would be astronomical, but it seems to me there are very few occasions when we genuinely “cut loose” and just enjoy the moment, or even put ourselves forward for things and go with the flow. We fear humiliation as if it were equivalent to losing a limb, but it’s funny how the failure to jump in is often more damaging than taking that risk and going with the moment.
Wedding speeches are a prime example of this. I’ve seen beautifully worded, intricately woven speeches on paper which have fallen completely flat simply because the speaker didn’t put it across confidently. Many times when I’ve been mixing sound speakers have told me they don’t want a microphone not because they speak with such a loud commanding voice that a mic becomes unnecessary but because they don’t really want anyone to hear it. It’s one of those situations where going for it is the only way to go, and even if your speech isn’t a work of art, a confidently delivered speech is far more likely to get a laugh from the audience than one that’s being mumbled and that the audience can’t really hear.
But the strangest inhibitions are the ones where we hold ourselves back from simply enjoying ourselves. For years I refused from ever getting up on the dance-floor because I thought I couldn’t dance and wanted to try and be the cool guy standing off to one side, beer in hand. It was only after years of standing there not joining in with the fun on the dance-floor that I realised something… no-one else on that floor could dance either, they just didn’t care that they couldn’t. The perception wasn’t “god these guys look stupid dancing” but rather “why isn’t that loner over there dancing?” By joining in people feel much more relaxed around you and after seeing you make a fool of yourself dancing like your dad tend to feel much more confident in talking to you. If they jest with you about it the next day who cares? Chances are you shared more than a few moments where they looked every bit as daft as you did.
Letting go of inhibitions does of course tend to have a direct relation to blood-alcohol ratio, but having a few drinks often seems to be more an excuse for letting go and having a good time than the actual cause itself. I’ve observed close friends’ behaviour become increasingly drunken through the night until they were completely hammered in the early hours, despite the fact that me and a couple of mates had ensured that they had been drinking alcohol-free beer all night without their knowledge. In their “drunken” state they had the confidence to join in with everyone in a way they never normally would when sober and had a great time. In fact technically they had a better time than us as it turns out that getting yourself drunk without alcohol makes for a much less messy start the following morning…
So I reckon it’s time to shed those inhibitions that hold us back in life for no good reason, that fear of embarrassment that stops us enjoying ourselves. Don’t be the one cowering from your audience whilst giving a speech, don’t be the last one moving timidly on the dance-floor with their feet stuck to the ground. Get up there, get your groove on and shake it like a polaroid picture. You ain’t got the moves like Jagger, Jagger’s got the moves like you.
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(Although if you ever need someone to play ‘Wonderwall’ really badly over and over with only half the notes I’m your man!
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It’s interesting and good to know that you guys have noticed the same changes and feel the same.
We love traditional church weddings and legal ceremonies but have had an increase in the amount of ceremonies being held outside or somewhere different with the legal bit being done at the registry office in the morning or a few days before.
It’s a really positive move that couples are doing their own thing for their own reasons as opposed to what is expected. The variety of ideas and locations makes our job more interesting as no two wedding is alike! It also helps to keep our creative juices flowing