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The Friday Fight-Out: First Dance vs Alternative Performance

Lately we’ve been in attendance at a few weddings where the first dance has made way for something a little different – musical performances by the bride and groom to entertain their guests. So today we thought we’d see if we could get to the bottom of which is the best way to go – the classic first dance or something just a little different…


In the Red Corner, fighting for the classic first dance despite the fact she did in fact perform a song later into her own wedding and has no idea what her first dance song was thanks to a largely spanish speaking band, it’s Dom “The Tog Bride”.

In the Blue Corner, presenting the arguments for doing something a little different, he was after all astonished to find out recently the art of good dancing generally involves quite a lot more of moving your feet and considerably less miming filling a shopping trolley than he had always believed, it’s Matt “The Gormless Groom”.

First Dance Vs Alternative Performance


Dom: Whilst it’s always lovely to see couples get up and perform on their big day the first dance is a traditional part of the wedding and a lovely sweet moment for everyone. There’s no reason you can’t do your first dance and still do a performance later!

Matt: But many photographers and videographers only stay up until the first dance and so if you want your performance to be captured for prosperity it may be necessary to have the performance instead. Some of the guests (particularly older guests) may also leave shortly after the first dance.

Dom: Although your wedding day is all about you as a couple, often you’re so busy talking to guests, having your picture taken and going through all the traditions and activities of the day that you don’t actually get much time to just focus on each other. It’s lovely to see two newlyweds surrounded by guests but completely lost in each other’s eyes.

Matt: For many couples dancing isn’t really something they do together and if they can’t dance it can become something to worry about rather than something to enjoy. Some couples though have other things they do together like sing or play guitar, or something as unusual as juggling together! Some form of performance can be much more personal than a slow dance and much more entertaining for the guests!

Dom: The first dance is a moment for the couple and the traditional way to start off the dancing for everyone else rather than something that is expected to entertain the guests per se. Putting together an actual performance can be a lot more work and hassle rather than just holding each other on the dance floor and moving slowly!

Matt: Putting on a little performance is something really unique and memorable and helps to set your day apart from other weddings! A live performance is likely to live long in the memory of your guests as well as yourselves.

Dom: Many couples have “our song” – a piece of music that’s particularly special to them and to their relationship and it’s lovely to have the chance to dance to it together on your big day.

Matt: But perhaps that song can be incorporated into a performance and made even more special, for example the bride and groom might play and sing their song live to each other which could be even more special.

Dom: But if you have a live band, for example, or have some talented friends who could play the song live for you to dance to then again that could make it even more memorable and if you’re dancing rather than playing you have the chance to focus purely on each other and just enjoy the moment.

Matt: Some couples choose to keep their live performance as a secret either for the guests or even for one another which can make for a brilliant talking point and a particularly special moment in the day.


So those are our thoughts but where do you stand? You can join the debate in our comments section and don’t forget to place your vote in our poll below!

First Dance Vs Alternative Performance
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