It has come to my attention that my future wife seems to think that I somehow need help in getting the right look for the wedding. She appears to be under the impression that just because I spend half my life lurking backstage at various theatres embellished head to toe in black that I somehow don’t know how to dress properly…well let me tell you, this groom knows exactly how to get it right! Just because I spend approximately 5.2 seconds getting my hair right in the morning and now seem to have a beard because I couldn’t be bothered to shave this week…alright two weeks, it doesn’t mean I don’t scrub up well! I mean David Beckham couldn’t be bothered shaving for a bit and grew a beard and apparently he looks alright so I don’t see why I can’t! I mean, granted everyone said he looked terrible and he lost millions of quid’s worth of Gillette sponsorship but still…actually awful decision Becks, just awful. What were you thinking? I may be slightly weakening my point here…Anyway, today on Bride Vs Groom it’s the Grooming the Groom Takeover! Lads, lets show them how it’s done!
You see, it’s not that complicated…look, it’s a guy in a suit and he seems to be enjoying it.
Waistcoat, tie, jacket, bootienear (or something like that)…looks good! Right, done!
Actually this is one of Dom’s pics… probably should find something to make it a bit different.
That’s more like it, it’s all about the Yorkshire Flat-caps!
Course when I were a lad we didn’t have these fancy weddin’s, used to ‘ave a cardboard box
And that’s if you were lucky!
What about accessorising with a nice bit of wrist-wear?
This Patek Philippe Platinum World Time watch would complete the ensemble nicely and be handy for the honeymoon!
A bargain at a mere £2.5 million…hint hint Dom!
I’m on a roll…whilst we’re at it lets sort a few other bits out…
Dom’s been going on about wedding stationary for ages but the prices she’s getting are crazy!!
These look much more reasonable!
And what about the wedding transport? It’s gotta be something that can get you there on time…
This little beauty’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bridesmobile or what?
I spent ages trying to find shoes, apparently they’re known as “Wedding Slippers!”
Seems a bit odd but ok… do I need new ones or will my Homers do?
Maybe these guys got it right in the brilliant wedding video below from Mayad studios.
So there you have it, week off for Dom, everything’s in hand… maybe we should be on Don’t Tell the Bride or something…ha! Some of those guys are idiots! No idea what their bride wants on their wedding day! Right, back to more planning for me… I wonder if my groomsman Mark would fit in an R2D2 costume… hmm…