The wedding ring: a symbol of unending love and unity and of the commitment you have made to one another. But whilst most couples do exchange rings as part of their wedding ceremony, many men in particular choose not to wear them afterwards. But is it really important to keep wearing that symbol at all times or once you’ve made that commitment is it best to keep that ring in a safe place rather than wear it day to day?
Time to put it to the debate!
In the Red Corner, arguing for the wedding ring to be worn day in, day out, but then she is a big Lord of the Rings Fan, it’s Dom “The Tog Bride”
In the Blue Corner, putting forth the arguments for why it’s fine to only wear it for special occasions, particularly since after wearing it every day he was shocked on one occasion to find it missing, only to discover it inches from the drain in the shower, it’s Matt “The Gormless Groom”
Mens Rings – To Wear or Not to Wear
Dom: If the wedding ring is supposed to be an outward symbol of the commitment you have made to one another then surely it should be there for all to see at all times, otherwise its purpose is lost.
Matt: But the commitment you’re making is far bigger than a ring, not wearing it every day doesn’t mean that you’re any less committed to the other person it’s just a personal preference.
Dom: Permanently wearing something that says “hands-off” to other women is a strong sign of your commitment to be faithful only to your wife.
Matt: But if a husband lacked that level of commitment he would simply take the ring off when someone showed interest anyway. Surely a stronger display of your love is to actually have to tell someone you’re taken when they’re showing interest rather than wear something to warn people off in the first place.
Dom: Women are always expected to wear their wedding ring and are likely to be asked if something’s wrong when they don’t wear it. Why should this be different for men?
Matt: It shouldn’t be different, it’s also completely the woman’s choice whether she wants to wear a ring or not and surely she would only be questioned about it if she normally wore it every day and then suddenly stopped?
Dom: Men don’t tend to wear as much jewellery as women so for a man who doesn’t like jewellery to commit to wearing a ring every day for his wife is quite special.
Matt: But because men are often less used to wearing jewellery they’re probably more likely to lose or damage it. Mens rings tend to be bulkier and more plain than women’s and therefore very easy to scratch and ruin the look of.
Dom: Wedding rings are a great reminder of your partner and when you’re feeling down or lonely being reminded of your wedding day and that person who loves you so much can be a great way of cheering yourself up!
Matt: Some men are just too worried about damaging or losing their wedding ring and would therefore rather keep it locked away safely and only wear it on special occasions. This doesn’t mean it’s any less important to them, in fact it means it’s so important they want to protect it!
So those are our thoughts but where do you stand? Will you be wearing your wedding ring day in day out? Place your vote in our poll below or leave a comment to join the debate!
Fusion weddings also known as Anglo-Indian weddings are on the increase both in the UK and around the globe. Mainly as couples of different faiths meet at work or university and as the world is generally more accepting of interfaith marriages now then ever before.
I’m married to a Yorkshireman (I KNOW!) myself, we had a Hindu wedding in Tanzania followed by an English reception in the UK, we didn’t however ‘fuse’ the cultures per se, because it was all very new to both of us and we didn’t really have any concerns over how the wedding should be planned, we just went with the flow and let my parents decide what should happen. To me it was the perfect day but for Tom may be not so much as it was daunting and overwhelming, there were large number of guests and many he didn’t know. I could have prepared him better.
Needless to say there are some things that I would do differently now, especially after being to so many fusion weddings as a photographer.
If you’re planning a big fat fusion wedding, there are a few things you should consider.
As a couple you need to decide how your want to celebrate your union and then decide what part of the ceremonies you want to make your own or if you just want to have more than one ceremony. So forexample I have a couple who replaced the Hindu wedding ceremony with their own version, so the seven steps were literally seven steps they took towards the wedding stage and at each step they were greeted by a member of the family giving them a blessing appropriate to that step.
Alternatively you can have for example, a Church ceremony on one day and the traditional Indian wedding on another day, I have had one bride who had the church ceremony in the morning, followed by a Hindu wedding ceremony in the afternoon and then a reception thereafter, this can be a long day for all parties involved and the timing can be really tight, we were left with very little time for the couple portraits for instance, so consider splitting the days and giving each celebration its own day.
There will be many challenges when trying to blend the cultures together and you can face pressure from the family, such as when you are trying to arrange how the evening reception will work, you might want to just cut the cake, but family pressure and South Asian tradition means you have to also feed that cake you’ve just cut to the parents and siblings and grandparents…this may be something that you as a modern fusion couple are not happy to do, but you’ll have to think of compromises.
Your biggest compromise will come with it comes to the number of guests to invite, Asian weddings are large and non-Asian weddings not so large, the whole number of guests things is one of the most stressful parts of planning any weddings not just a fusion wedding, be reasonable and negotiate with your parents on what the ideal number of guests would be for a fusion wedding.
With this will come the challenge of costs. This is why some couples will have a full day, everything in one, as described above at one venue. Alternatively you can negotiate deals with venues to hire them out for two consecutive days so you can celebrate the different cultures on different days. But having two sets of everything will be costly.
Planning a fusion wedding means you need to plan ahead, like lots more ahead then normal, its like planning two weddings so you need to make sure you give it the time that is needed. Hire a wedding planner, this is a huge investment but you wont regret it, all the weddings I have been to where there is a wedding planner if not for the whole but for part of the celebrations, it has made a huge difference in the way the day has panned out and also in terms of how relaxed the couple have been.
One of the most important things though is to make sure that both families are engaged in each others cultures. That both parties feel involved and welcome.
At a recent fusion wedding I photographed the bride who was Hindu and the groom who was English had a great mix of food. They had both traditional Gujarati food fused with a touch of English food (Who doesn’t like a bit of fish and chips eh?). They hired both an English band and an Indian DJ who played alongside and created an amazing atmosphere, the party was pretty epic.
Similarly, if for instance the grooms family have no idea what happens at a Ganesh Puja or Grah Shanti, inviting them to the brides function would be a good alternative, the couple can then sit and do the puja together and the priest can explain what is happening and the significance of it, I particularly love when both bride and groom are present at a pithi ceremony, yikes, its brilliant fun.
When it comes to the ceremony itself, hire a priest who can explain the ceremony to the guests and the couples families. If it’s a Hindu wedding give out some scrolls that have the ceremony explained in simple words for the guests, if it’s a Sikh wedding get one of the speakers to explain in English what is going to happen at the ceremony for example.
Communication is another vital part of the day, you need to tell each other and your families how you feel and also ask how they feel and how things are going, its easy for one side to feel neglected when there is so much going on and feel left out if the decisions are not being passed by them too. Ask for the respective family’s opinions but don’t forget to add your own sparkle too.
Trying to combine two sets of cultures, traditions and family expectations can be daunting, but don’t let this get to you and remember the day is about the two of you, so make sure you have incorporated little touches that are about you and this can be the hardest part. Just remember it will be worth the party, so much partying and as a bride you get to wear numerous amounts of beautiful outfits!
Just remember to eat the yummy food, dance to the epic music and kiss the person you just married, at the end of the day its about the two of you.
Off to have a cuppa tea, have a great weekend.
Indian Wedding Photography by Bhavna Barratt
Rock n’ Roll…
Today we’re thrilled to feature a Weymouth Wedding captured by the latest addition to the Bride Vs Groom awesome supplier family – Linus Moran Photography. It’s not often that the Groom’s hair demands more attention than the bride’s but then Adam & Stephanie are no ordinary bride and groom…
Double Bass player Adam and singer and clothing designer (check out those hand-made Bridesmaid dresses!) Stephanie met through their love of music, playing and singing in the same band and it definitely showed in their handmade Rock n’ Roll Wedding. With place settings lovingly crafted from genuine vinyl LP’s (including albums carefully selected for the guests concerned!) and that Rock n’ Roll feel present in everything from the groom’s shoes to his handcrafted buttonhole made from a musical score, perhaps our favourite touch is the painstakingly customised party poppers, remade to fire musical notes in place of the original streamers. For these music lovers though there’s no substitute for the real thing and it will have come as no surprise to the guests to see an awesome band take to the stage (complete with double bass of course!) to get the guests up on their feet and raise the Riviera Hotel’s dramatic art deco roof as they partied away into the night.
We recently featured one frame from this wedding as our weekly Story Frame with an image focussing on the perhaps unexpectedly sentimental father of the bride. Here the picture is complete, with the alpha-male ex-military dad well and truly revealing his softer side in an emotional father-daughter dance…
Thanks to Linus for sending us this fantastic wedding, we hope you enjoy his take on Adam & Stephanie’s handmade Rock n’ Roll Wedding!
We love a bit of personalised wedding stationary and there’s nothing quite like stamping your own monogram as a couple to your stationary to add a real personal touch to any decorations and favours. So, courtesy of our friends at Simply Bridal, today we have a great infographic to help bring your wedding Monograms up to date!
Paddington (aka Small Dog) is going on a journey. After being told he needed to get himself a doggy passport (cue some argumentative barking about being a bear not a dog) he seems to have gotten really rather excited about the idea of going back to visit his home land of Peru. In fact so excited was the barking that we didn’t have the heart to tell him that firstly he’s not actually from Peru and secondly that Normandy is not strictly speaking within Peruvian national borders. Still, it’s definitely time to pack up the famous brown suitcase and get on his travels.
This particular trip is an exciting one not just for Small Dog but for all the BvG team as we’ll be heading out to France to film and photograph an amazing wedding followed by my (ahem) 30th birthday celebration in a nearby French Gite. The very fact that it looks like I will reach my 30th birthday seems to be viewed as personal failure on Small Dog’s part, although come to think of it he did look at me with an evil glint in his eye when he heard we would be travelling by boat… perhaps i’d better practice a doggy paddle of my own!
Having never had a passport before though Paddington has been struggling a little with getting a good passport photo, in fact several of his initial attempts have already been rejected…
Maybe he won’t be having that dream romantic trip to France with Dom after all…