Bride Vs Groom » Wedding Experiences & Guidance for the Bride & Groom

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We don’t normally do this here on Bride Vs Groom but today we wanted to pay a little tribute to a man who was a key figure in both of our childhoods. Robin Williams was a man who brought us, and millions around the world, great joy with his incredible wit, natural warmth and spellbinding performances. We grew up on his films and it’s devastating to know that a man so loved by everyone he knew and millions who had never even met him didn’t feel that same love for himself. Robin Williams, you made us laugh, cry and laugh some more, you inspired our sense of playfulness and taught us never to lose the wonderment of childhood. You will never be forgotten. As a now famous tweet has quoted, Genie, you’re free.





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Bride Vs Groom, Wedding BlogWhen I was a kid I always hated roller-coaster’s. It wasn’t that I had any issue with heights or that I was particularly scared about going upside down or diving up and down at high speeds, it was mostly that I spent the entire (usually 2 hours!) queuing worried about feeling sick and looking like an idiot in front of my friends. It was only at a recent trip to Flamingo Land with friends that I realised that the only way to tackle a roller coaster is to jump on, scream your head off and enjoy the ride…

It occurs to me that weddings are a bit like that – months of nervous build-up and worrying about what’s going to happen on the day and when it finally arrives and it’s your turn to step onto the ‘coaster you can either continue to worry about something going wrong and miss your chance to enjoy it or you can strap yourself in, scream with excitement and prepare yourself for one hell of a ride.

The most fun weddings are always those where the couple completely let go and allow nothing to stand in the way of them enjoying their big day, even if their plans fall away around them. One such couple’s wedding has become somewhat famed over the weekend as our friend Jon at S6 Photography was on hand to capture a truly beautiful wedding that ended up taking place in the back-end of a hurricane, with their Tipi flooding and water leaking through the roof of even their hastily put-together backup venue. Decorations were destroyed, the bride’s dress was drenched and the guests were forced to wade through huge pools of water. The bride and groom could have despaired, they could have cancelled everything and added tears to the rapidly growing puddles, but not this bride and groom. This was their day and nothing and nobody was going to stop them enjoying their day. They simply rolled up their trousers and waded right in.

This is an extreme example but so often bride and grooms allow the smaller things to stand in the way of enjoying their day. You can plan a wedding to the minutest of details but at the end of the day it’s the people who are there that matter, everything else is just, well, stuff. Chances are something will go slightly wrong at your wedding no matter how well planned it is, but at the end of the day as long as you can get married surrounded by the people you love does anything else really matter?

So as you stand in that queue, staring up at the daunting ride in front of you, quit worrying about what could go wrong, just get on, strap yourself in and scream if you wanna go faster.

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We all know the tradition of the Bride throwing the bouquet to the assembled single ladies, but one that is often forgotten is the groom’s version of the tradition – throwing the bride’s garter to all the single gents! Tradition dictates that whoever catches the garter should place it on the leg of the lady who caught the bouquet… Well, Christine and Michael weren’t about to forget this one and today’s story frame shows the hilarious moment when, perhaps the guest least enthused by this idea performed an accidental (yet rather impressive) reflex catch, much to the amusement of the rest of the guys around him!
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Lately we’ve been in attendance at a few weddings where the first dance has made way for something a little different – musical performances by the bride and groom to entertain their guests. So today we thought we’d see if we could get to the bottom of which is the best way to go – the classic first dance or something just a little different…


In the Red Corner, fighting for the classic first dance despite the fact she did in fact perform a song later into her own wedding and has no idea what her first dance song was thanks to a largely spanish speaking band, it’s Dom “The Tog Bride”.

In the Blue Corner, presenting the arguments for doing something a little different, he was after all astonished to find out recently the art of good dancing generally involves quite a lot more of moving your feet and considerably less miming filling a shopping trolley than he had always believed, it’s Matt “The Gormless Groom”.

First Dance Vs Alternative Performance


Dom: Whilst it’s always lovely to see couples get up and perform on their big day the first dance is a traditional part of the wedding and a lovely sweet moment for everyone. There’s no reason you can’t do your first dance and still do a performance later!

Matt: But many photographers and videographers only stay up until the first dance and so if you want your performance to be captured for prosperity it may be necessary to have the performance instead. Some of the guests (particularly older guests) may also leave shortly after the first dance.

Dom: Although your wedding day is all about you as a couple, often you’re so busy talking to guests, having your picture taken and going through all the traditions and activities of the day that you don’t actually get much time to just focus on each other. It’s lovely to see two newlyweds surrounded by guests but completely lost in each other’s eyes.

Matt: For many couples dancing isn’t really something they do together and if they can’t dance it can become something to worry about rather than something to enjoy. Some couples though have other things they do together like sing or play guitar, or something as unusual as juggling together! Some form of performance can be much more personal than a slow dance and much more entertaining for the guests!

Dom: The first dance is a moment for the couple and the traditional way to start off the dancing for everyone else rather than something that is expected to entertain the guests per se. Putting together an actual performance can be a lot more work and hassle rather than just holding each other on the dance floor and moving slowly!

Matt: Putting on a little performance is something really unique and memorable and helps to set your day apart from other weddings! A live performance is likely to live long in the memory of your guests as well as yourselves.

Dom: Many couples have “our song” – a piece of music that’s particularly special to them and to their relationship and it’s lovely to have the chance to dance to it together on your big day.

Matt: But perhaps that song can be incorporated into a performance and made even more special, for example the bride and groom might play and sing their song live to each other which could be even more special.

Dom: But if you have a live band, for example, or have some talented friends who could play the song live for you to dance to then again that could make it even more memorable and if you’re dancing rather than playing you have the chance to focus purely on each other and just enjoy the moment.

Matt: Some couples choose to keep their live performance as a secret either for the guests or even for one another which can make for a brilliant talking point and a particularly special moment in the day.


So those are our thoughts but where do you stand? You can join the debate in our comments section and don’t forget to place your vote in our poll below!

First Dance Vs Alternative Performance
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Bhavna Profile PicI was recently going through some images from an Indian fashion show in India and thought, wow there are so many different styles of lenghas out there, how does a bride choose which is the perfect one for her, plus being a wedding photographer means I get to see so many lush Indian bridal outfits, I often wonder how many trips to the various boutiques the bride has made to find her ideal dress.

Of course most of us girls know what we would like, we’ve been dreaming of this day for years, cutting out images from the latest bridal magazines, spending hours watching all the latest Bollywood films and star plus dramas so that we know what the new trends are, and as insightful as that is, what it does it tell us what we like, what is pleasing to our eyes but it doesn’t tell us if that will look good on us. For this you must try on the outfit and unless you are close personal friends with Manish Malhotra or Priyanka Chopra who might lend you the outfits to try on, you’re going to have to take on the high streets in Southall, Wembley,  Green Street etc and try on a gazillion outfits until you find the perfect lengha for you, note that this task is tedious and may take months…

choosing your perfect indian wedding dress by Bhavna Barratt

Sooo here’s something to get you started on finding the dress of your dreams…
Firstly, know your shape. Not everyone suits a fishtail lengha, that is a fact. I say this because I know that I wouldn’t wear it with my wide hips, I’m kind of a pear shape, so I choose to wear lenghas and skirts that are A line that give me shape without making my hips look wider. This is also true of the amount of embroidery and embellishment that is on the skirt or the top, and the pattern itself, some motifs can be unflattering if placed in upper areas of the skirt for instance.

Then, know the colour you want your lengha to be. Many brides are afraid to wear red, it’s a strong, vivid colour. But there are so many different shades of red, that it’s best to try outfits in the different shades, this will give you an idea of what shade of red is good for your skin tone. Saying that you don’t have to wear red, try shades of pink or green, or combinations of red and green or red and blue.

Try as many outfits as you can, seriously its like a marathon – there’s a thought a lengha marathon, imagine that!!

perfect indian wedding dress

Know your budget too, this can be a deal breaker as some amazing bespoke lenghas can cost a bit of a fortune, but if it’s the dress of your dreams than splurge…ok maybe shop around first. You may find something that is equally as lush and similar to the bespoke lengha in a high street shop and some of the bridal shops now take orders to get your lengha made especially for you directly from India. Be careful though not all of them will be to the standard and quality you want it to be.

So choose carefully, ask lots of questions about the material and the time it will take to get it made, the exactness of the colour and follow it up regularly, not everyday maybe once every few weeks.

Trends are not everything either, some trends will come and go really quickly so choose wisely. I know brides who have had their lenghas made into suits after the wedding so they can wear them at a family wedding and why not make it more useful, when was the last time you looked at your wedding lengha?

Bhavna Barratt - Choosing your perfect indian wedding dress

Choose something that will be you and that will make you feel comfortable, if you’re going to be dancing in the lengha think about how heavy it might be with lots of embroidery on it.

Think also of how you would accessorise the outfit, sometimes the jewellery can make all the difference to turn a dress into a beautiful dress!

ooh and always take your heels with you when trying on dresses, it will let you know the length you want your lengha to be and take someone with you who will give you an honest opinion, don’t go shopping with 10 aunties and 12 cousins, you’ll never make a decision for yourself then.

I love shopping for Indian clothes, it can be so much fun! In fact, I love shopping full stop, who doesn’t?

Have a great weekend and have fun shopping for your perfect Indian wedding dress.

choosing your perfect indian wedding dress

Indian Wedding Photography by Bhavna Barratt

Profile picture by Tux & Tales Photography

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  • Nisha Ravji - August 7, 2014 - 3:40 pm

    Fantastic article Bhav!!! I was super lucky to have an amazing personal shopper when looking for my outfit :pReplyCancel

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