Bride Vs Groom » Wedding Experiences & Guidance for the Bride & Groom

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Lately we’ve been in attendance at a few weddings where the first dance has made way for something a little different – musical performances by the bride and groom to entertain their guests. So today we thought we’d see if we could get to the bottom of which is the best way to go – the classic first dance or something just a little different…


In the Red Corner, fighting for the classic first dance despite the fact she did in fact perform a song later into her own wedding and has no idea what her first dance song was thanks to a largely spanish speaking band, it’s Dom “The Tog Bride”.

In the Blue Corner, presenting the arguments for doing something a little different, he was after all astonished to find out recently the art of good dancing generally involves quite a lot more of moving your feet and considerably less miming filling a shopping trolley than he had always believed, it’s Matt “The Gormless Groom”.

First Dance Vs Alternative Performance


Dom: Whilst it’s always lovely to see couples get up and perform on their big day the first dance is a traditional part of the wedding and a lovely sweet moment for everyone. There’s no reason you can’t do your first dance and still do a performance later!

Matt: But many photographers and videographers only stay up until the first dance and so if you want your performance to be captured for prosperity it may be necessary to have the performance instead. Some of the guests (particularly older guests) may also leave shortly after the first dance.

Dom: Although your wedding day is all about you as a couple, often you’re so busy talking to guests, having your picture taken and going through all the traditions and activities of the day that you don’t actually get much time to just focus on each other. It’s lovely to see two newlyweds surrounded by guests but completely lost in each other’s eyes.

Matt: For many couples dancing isn’t really something they do together and if they can’t dance it can become something to worry about rather than something to enjoy. Some couples though have other things they do together like sing or play guitar, or something as unusual as juggling together! Some form of performance can be much more personal than a slow dance and much more entertaining for the guests!

Dom: The first dance is a moment for the couple and the traditional way to start off the dancing for everyone else rather than something that is expected to entertain the guests per se. Putting together an actual performance can be a lot more work and hassle rather than just holding each other on the dance floor and moving slowly!

Matt: Putting on a little performance is something really unique and memorable and helps to set your day apart from other weddings! A live performance is likely to live long in the memory of your guests as well as yourselves.

Dom: Many couples have “our song” – a piece of music that’s particularly special to them and to their relationship and it’s lovely to have the chance to dance to it together on your big day.

Matt: But perhaps that song can be incorporated into a performance and made even more special, for example the bride and groom might play and sing their song live to each other which could be even more special.

Dom: But if you have a live band, for example, or have some talented friends who could play the song live for you to dance to then again that could make it even more memorable and if you’re dancing rather than playing you have the chance to focus purely on each other and just enjoy the moment.

Matt: Some couples choose to keep their live performance as a secret either for the guests or even for one another which can make for a brilliant talking point and a particularly special moment in the day.


So those are our thoughts but where do you stand? You can join the debate in our comments section and don’t forget to place your vote in our poll below!

First Dance Vs Alternative Performance
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Bhavna Profile PicI was recently going through some images from an Indian fashion show in India and thought, wow there are so many different styles of lenghas out there, how does a bride choose which is the perfect one for her, plus being a wedding photographer means I get to see so many lush Indian bridal outfits, I often wonder how many trips to the various boutiques the bride has made to find her ideal dress.

Of course most of us girls know what we would like, we’ve been dreaming of this day for years, cutting out images from the latest bridal magazines, spending hours watching all the latest Bollywood films and star plus dramas so that we know what the new trends are, and as insightful as that is, what it does it tell us what we like, what is pleasing to our eyes but it doesn’t tell us if that will look good on us. For this you must try on the outfit and unless you are close personal friends with Manish Malhotra or Priyanka Chopra who might lend you the outfits to try on, you’re going to have to take on the high streets in Southall, Wembley,  Green Street etc and try on a gazillion outfits until you find the perfect lengha for you, note that this task is tedious and may take months…

choosing your perfect indian wedding dress by Bhavna Barratt

Sooo here’s something to get you started on finding the dress of your dreams…
Firstly, know your shape. Not everyone suits a fishtail lengha, that is a fact. I say this because I know that I wouldn’t wear it with my wide hips, I’m kind of a pear shape, so I choose to wear lenghas and skirts that are A line that give me shape without making my hips look wider. This is also true of the amount of embroidery and embellishment that is on the skirt or the top, and the pattern itself, some motifs can be unflattering if placed in upper areas of the skirt for instance.

Then, know the colour you want your lengha to be. Many brides are afraid to wear red, it’s a strong, vivid colour. But there are so many different shades of red, that it’s best to try outfits in the different shades, this will give you an idea of what shade of red is good for your skin tone. Saying that you don’t have to wear red, try shades of pink or green, or combinations of red and green or red and blue.

Try as many outfits as you can, seriously its like a marathon – there’s a thought a lengha marathon, imagine that!!

perfect indian wedding dress

Know your budget too, this can be a deal breaker as some amazing bespoke lenghas can cost a bit of a fortune, but if it’s the dress of your dreams than splurge…ok maybe shop around first. You may find something that is equally as lush and similar to the bespoke lengha in a high street shop and some of the bridal shops now take orders to get your lengha made especially for you directly from India. Be careful though not all of them will be to the standard and quality you want it to be.

So choose carefully, ask lots of questions about the material and the time it will take to get it made, the exactness of the colour and follow it up regularly, not everyday maybe once every few weeks.

Trends are not everything either, some trends will come and go really quickly so choose wisely. I know brides who have had their lenghas made into suits after the wedding so they can wear them at a family wedding and why not make it more useful, when was the last time you looked at your wedding lengha?

Bhavna Barratt - Choosing your perfect indian wedding dress

Choose something that will be you and that will make you feel comfortable, if you’re going to be dancing in the lengha think about how heavy it might be with lots of embroidery on it.

Think also of how you would accessorise the outfit, sometimes the jewellery can make all the difference to turn a dress into a beautiful dress!

ooh and always take your heels with you when trying on dresses, it will let you know the length you want your lengha to be and take someone with you who will give you an honest opinion, don’t go shopping with 10 aunties and 12 cousins, you’ll never make a decision for yourself then.

I love shopping for Indian clothes, it can be so much fun! In fact, I love shopping full stop, who doesn’t?

Have a great weekend and have fun shopping for your perfect Indian wedding dress.

choosing your perfect indian wedding dress

Indian Wedding Photography by Bhavna Barratt

Profile picture by Tux & Tales Photography

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  • Nisha Ravji - August 7, 2014 - 3:40 pm

    Fantastic article Bhav!!! I was super lucky to have an amazing personal shopper when looking for my outfit :pReplyCancel

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Love on the Line | Nonsuch Mansion Wedding Film

Yesterday we shared an infographic by White Dress Films all about how to go about finding a good videographer and today we’re delighted to share with you a prime example by White Dress films themselves! Natalie and Richard’s story is the kind of tale more often played out in rom-coms at the movies than in real life, but it goes to show what can happen when you’re willing to take a chance…

Natalie was actually on her way back from a terrible first date when Richard hopped onto the underground and caught her eye. They both noticed each other immediately and hidden glances across a crowded carriage ensued. Eventually though their eyes met and, defying the often anti-social laws of the tube, Richard decided he had nothing to lose and boldly strode over to her. As it turns out they were heading for the same stop and after a “quick drink” at their local pub that ended only as the pub closed, another date was swiftly arranged for the following day and it wasn’t long before Richard was opening a secret bank account to save for an engagement ring.

Their big day at Surrey’s Nonsuch Mansion was clearly just as magical as that day on the tube, and with wedding stationary handmade by the talented bride herself including, only fittingly, table’s named after London Underground lines and the elegant mansion beset with sunlight, doesn’t it look just perfect. But enough from us, it’s time to enjoy Natalie and Richard’s gorgeous film of the day they reached their final destination at Nonsuch Abbey.

Nonsuch Abbey Wedding Film


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Today we have a lovely infographic from our friends at the fantastic White Dress Films all about what you need to consider when looking for your wedding videographer. Just like in finding your photographer, getting the right videographer is so important to make sure your day is captured perfectly and with a wide range of styles out there and a growing number of videographers offering their services for weddings these are just a few of the things you might want to consider…


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matt-avatar WhitenedEyup, this might be t’ Monday Musings but I’ve scribed it on t’ Friday cos it’s t’ most wonderful day of t’ year: Yorkshire Day.

Ok my patience for writing with a Yorkshire twang may have run dry (I’m always told my accent doesn’t sound like the proud Yorkshireman I am anyway) but having spent much of the day driving (rather slowly thanks to the traffic – bloomin’ non Yorkshire folk blocking up our cycle routes!) through the stunning local countryside on the day proclaimed proudly throughout god’s county as Yorkshire day, I’m feeling, not for the first time of late, rather proud of my home lands.

It’s been quite the year for a county often derived by “outsiders” and fiercely defended by patriotic locals, being proclaimed as one of the top 10 places to visit in the world, playing host to Le Grand Depart of this year’s Tour de France (amid a fever-pitch excitement never experienced before for any cycle race anywhere in the world), Hull, or ‘ull as it is correctly pronounced being declared city of culture for 2017 and, of course perhaps Yorkshire’s best known representative, Small Dog (aka Paddington Bear) FINALLY having a film made about him and his adventures (it’s true, Colin Firth sounds NOTHING like him).

It’s also been an amazing year for Yorkshire weddings. With the sun beaming overhead so many couples have been taking advantage of the beautiful Yorkshire landscape and choosing to marry anywhere from the grandest country houses to open-sided marquees and rustic teepees. I’ve lost count of how many speeches lately have spoken with pride about having a wedding in Yorkshire, in fact at one of our recent weddings there was even a Yorkshire Vs The South sing-off as the guests were invited to take part in a rousing rendition of On Ilkley Moor Baht ‘at, beating Maybe it’s Because I’m a Londoner well into submission!

So well done Yorkshire, and for those who spent their day donning flat caps and taking part in Yorkshire pudding themed events well done to thee and you’ve well and truly earned yourselves a nice cuppa Yorkshire’s finest.

Stick t’ kettle on luv


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It’s always a special moment seeing the Bride in her wedding dress for the first time, but for actress Daisy there was an air of theatricality as her bridesmaids gathered alongside the mother and father of the bride and awaited the grand reveal as she walked down the stairs. I just love all the different reactions from everyone seeing her, from the bridesmaid covering her mouth in amazement to the father of the bride having his breath well and truly taken away, not to mention Daisy herself, her eyes fixed on her doting father and her trademark beaming smile perhaps broadening even more for this incredible moment. 
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