The speeches are undoubtedly one of the most anticipated moments of the a wedding. The guests always look forward to them and the Groom and best man almost invariably fear them (in fact I’m currently hiding under a blanket for fear mine might come and take me away! But in recent times something odd has happened. Weirdly some Bride’s seem to have seen their men cowering in a corner whilst their speech lay on a table staring at them and thought “I want to get in on some of that action!” I know… crazy!
But thinking about it why is it that the Bride doesn’t traditionally speak? Why should it be that only the menfolk (Groom, Best Man, Father of the Bride) do all the talking?
Let’s find out!
In the Red Corner, doing that whole girl power thing just a few years too late and fighting for her right to speak (like we could stop her!), her hobbies include talking lots, making fun of Matt and always being right, it’s Dom “The Tog” Bride
In the Blue Corner, scared to death of his own speech but determined not to put his wife through the same misery / determined to get a word in edgeways it’s Matt ‘The Gormless” Groom
Bride’s Speech Vs Groom only… FIGHT!!!
Dom: Why shouldn’t the Bride get her say?! It’s her day after all and she probably has people she’d like to thank!
Matt: But the groom is there to represent the couple and whilst it could be the Bride that speaks instead I think it’s nice for the Groom to have a chance to talk about his partner and twhat the day’s meant to him.
Dom: If the Groom is shy… hmm who could we be talking about here? … then the Bride giving a speech can be a great way to support him and help him through it.
Matt: But the longer the speeches go on the more people are likely to lose focus and get bored, particularly when simply adding an extra speech that is similar to the groom’s anyway. Rather than help it is likely to just prolong the whole process and make it less interesting so when it is the Groom’s turn to speak he has a much harder job rather than an easier one!
Dom: Whilst it is of course lovely when the Groom talks sweetly about the bride in his speech, the Bride never gets this public platform to talk about her man in this way. Your wedding day is really the only time it’s publicly acceptable to make a speech about your partner and women should get that chance too!
Matt: Hmm… well you MIGHT say lovely things but I can’t help feeling that this also has the potential to become another best-mam style pick-on-the-groom speech and frankly one is quite enough!
Dom: The idea of only the men speaking is an outdated concept from times when women were not viewed as equal to men and their voices less important. Shouldn’t we make this a thing of the past?
Matt: That may be where the tradition started but no-one thinks of it that way anymore! It’s just a tradition and a tried and tested formula: Father of the Bride, Groom, Best-Man. It’s the right length and the right mix of perspectives on the day.
Dom: For the Bride it’s another “all eyes on me” moment… some brides can’t get enough of that!
Matt: Well that’s certainly true! I think the Bride is pretty much in the spotlight all day anyway though…
Dom: Despite being her big day the Bride never gets a chance to speak, to share her thoughts and thank those that helped her directly. The Groom isn’t always the more eloquent or confident speaker and I think it’s time Bride’s got to have their say!
Matt: Tradition dictates who speaks not because we don’t want to hear the Bride’s opinion but because the speech formula is one that just works! A lot of Brides probably wouldn’t want to do a speech anyway and you could end up with both the Bride and Groom spending their whole day with worry about the speech hanging over their heads rather than just enjoying it!