Right ladies and gents, are we ready for the biggest fight in the wide wedded world? To step into the biggest ring in the wedding blog world? To fight to the death on a topic offering useful advice, fierce debate and brand new wedding inspiration? Good! ‘Cos we’re not!
Ok, so I admit, we may have gotten a little obsessed with Pinterest this week and forgotten to research our Friday Fight-Out topic properly…oops! But we thought instead we’d offer a little insight into the day to day life debates that you can expect to emerge upon your entry into married life… well, they’ve come up in the few short weeks that we’ve been married anyway! So, we thought we’d settle a few debates so you don’t have to and save you some valuable time so you can spend more time watching the footie and drinking some beers! Oh… apparently that’s one too! Ok let’s get this battle underway before I put my foot in it any further!
In the Red corner, she’s apparently always right but please don’t take her word for it! She’s… oh good lord she’s pinning right now! MRS THOMPSON STOP BLOOMIN’ PINNI…actually hang on this is my chance to win this fight, let’s get a move on! It’s Dom “The Tog” Bride.
In the Blue corner, standing up for mankind, you might want to write these retorts down and just hold them up on a sign as you know you’re never going to get a word in edgeways! It’s Matt “The Gormless” Groom.
Ding Ding! Round 1:
The Toilet Seat
Dom: WHY OH WHY DO MEN ALWAYS LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP??!!!! I don’t want to have to touch the bloomin’ thing! It’s common courtesy!!
Matt: Well we’re not that keen on touching it either and if it’s left up there’s no reason to! (Well apart from… you know, that other thing) Women, on the other hand, HAVE to touch it one way or another, just not necessarily with your hands! Surely it’s us that’s being inconvenienced, not you! (runs and hides behind sofa).
Dom: (throws things over back of sofa) Yeah but touching it with your hands is gross! THAT’S NOT THE SAME!!
Matt: erm… it kinda is… NEXT ROUND PLEASE!!
ROUND 2: The Wardrobe Debate
Matt: Why is it that all of the wardrobes, drawers and pretty much any space you can find is full of girly clothes?? Where are my clothes supposed to go?
Dom: All your clothes live in the linen basket! If you wash and iron them I’ll let you hang them up!
Matt: Oh… right… …erm…. when you say iron them…
Dom: It’s the big iron shaped thing in the cupboard
Round 3: Vacuuming
Dom: How come men seem to be completely unable to use a vacuum cleaner? I mean they seem to be able to fix them when they’re broken and they can bring out their manly tools but otherwise seemingly have no idea how it works!
Matt: Ah, a common misconception! You see the male brain is pre-programmed only to use a vacuum cleaner when it becomes necessary to use a vacuum cleaner. By the time this point should theoretically be reached a female has generally already hoovered the place 10-15 times and so the opportunity, sadly, never actually arises!
Round 4: Football Vs Rubbish TV (No that isn’t a biased title at all)
Matt: Men watch all kinds of god awful TV that we have no interest in in order to spend time with our wives… why is it that when we want to watch the football we’re generally met with rolled eyes and the insinuation that we don’t want to spend time with our partners?
Dom: You love America’s Next Top Model really, admit it!
Round 5: Duvet Vs 32 hot water bottles, maxed-out heating and about 6 blankets
Matt: How on earth are women always cold??!!! I end up sweltering in bed, unable to sleep (other than if I pass out from dehydration) whilst Dom’s complaining of being freezing?
Dom: It’s not my fault…it’s you! You’re just unnaturally warm!! Now pipe down and get me a hot-water bottle!
Matt: Yes dear.
So there we have it, some of the greatest arguments between men and women… well not solved exactly, more like discussed and not resolved but never mind! We’ll be back next week with another (potentially more serious) Friday Fight-Out!