With Dom away for the weekend photographing a wedding and having gotten through the biggest part of my workload I was afforded a rare opportunity and one that has scarcely been an option for one reason or another since our wedding… Sunday was spent as an officially designated Man-Day!
Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I do and of course love spending time with my wife, but once in a while it becomes necessary to take a day out, away from weddings and from crap singing based TV shows judged by 3 stars and a bloke no-one recognises and do something entirely manly for a change!
And so it was that my Sunday began as all manly days should: with a massive lie-in. After this, still barely able to stand, let alone achieve conscious thought (I like to think of this stage of the man-day as ‘Neanderthal man’) I was faced with a conundrum. Strictly speaking of course such a lie-in should always be followed by the mother of all breakfasts, something to do with the hunter-gatherer instincts, however with the cupboards bare this would sadly have involved shopping which is of course strictly against the man code. Instead it was time to find some form of manly pursuit to begin the day with. I considered my options.
First of course would be to drive a fast car, however as a Mondeo driver this wasn’t really an option. Building a campfire in the middle of the living room seemed slightly counter-intuitive so I decided on the next best thing: I went to grab some tools from the man drawer.
For quite some time one room of our house has been awaiting a transformation from a store-room known as “the room of death” to a workable office space. And so to the task I set, tape-measure in hand, admittedly more for the flick-back action than the actual measuring, but still. It was during the clearing process though that I was able to visit that most manly of places: the loft – the natural domain of man and a place still known to womankind only as a place below which the Christmas decorations still sit waiting from months before.
The manly pursuits continued, with much drilling, hammering and holding of a saw (I confess no actual sawing was done but man it felt good!), and even a bit of light wiring. Dinner came in the form of fish & chips eaten straight out of the newspaper, before watching England finally begin to look like it might be quite nice to one day win something over a few
cups of tea beers. After stopping to capture a spider I truly felt that surely this day couldn’t be more masculine.
It was at about this point that my dear wife called and reminded me that, rather than leave a trail of sawdust across the house, I was in fact supposed to be cleaning up and leaving the place spotless. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for such responsibilities being evenly shared between men and women, but let me tell you, a day of traditionally manly pursuits takes a serious hit when you’re forced to put on your wife’s flowery apron and pick up a feather duster… particularly when your fireman neighbour spots you through the window.
Fortunately, no matter how seriously your manhood takes a hit there is always a higher power that man can appeal to to reaffirm that sense of masculinity:
Thank god for Die Hard!
So for all you grooms out there getting lost in a sea of bouquets, seating charts and bridesmaid dresses, make sure that once in a while you take yourself a man day.