In 7 years as a professional wedding photographer I had never photographed a first look until two weeks ago… now I’ve photographed two! I’d never seen a couple walk up the aisle together to be married and again twice in succession this has been the case. Long held traditions are beginning to be broken down and couples are looking to really put their own spin on things, changing the rules not only of the reception but of the ceremony itself.
Many have put this down to wedding blogs changing the rules and encouraging couples to come up with something exciting, something unique, something bloggable, and there’s certainly an element of this now rife within our industry, however I’m not sure it’s fair to say that wedding blogs are truly responsible for all of this change. Couples don’t necessarily choose a first look because it happens to be in trend, in fact neither of these recent couples realised a first look was “a thing”, they just wanted the first time they laid eyes on each other on their wedding day to be a private and very special moment, not one surrounded by others and with the registrar still whispering instructions in the groom’s ear as the bride makes her entrance. A wedding is an expression of love and of personality, and following a modern trend is no different from following an old established tradition – the result is still a wedding that doesn’t give a true reflection of who you are, just what you feel you should be.
.jpg)
Photography by York Place Studios
Sometimes the most effective breaks from tradition are born out of necessity – a change enforced upon rather than planned by the couple. For example at a recent wedding the first dance took place very early, immediately after the speeches in a completely separate room from the main dance-floor. Why? Because the couple wanted to have their first dance in the spectacular old ballroom but as that part of the building was closed at night they couldn’t have the rest of the evening’s entertainments there despite their wishes. The result though was that in the ballroom the formalities were completed in grandeur and style, and when the guests headed downstairs, traditions of waiting for the bride and groom to dance already fulfilled, they were truly ready to cut loose and the mood changed instantly from elegant chic to raucous party – an atmosphere that would have been much more difficult to create otherwise. At another recent wedding the first dance took place even earlier – straight after the ceremony itself! Every one of the guests, us included, thought this was an incredibly cool idea, but actually the reason behind it was entirely practical – it was a small, low-key wedding with a pub reception and there simply wouldn’t have been enough space for a proper first dance at such a tiny venue.
These couples took a problem and turned it into such a positive that it became almost the centrepiece of the day. They weren’t reacting to trends, they were turning a negative into a positive and in the process putting their own spin on it, just like the bride and groom that take the inflexibility of a registrar in accommodating their needs and decide to hold a humanist ceremony led by a dear friend instead. Suddenly that ceremony becomes something fundamentally different, but altogether more personal and fitting to the couple.
So whilst I’m all for mixing things up a little on your wedding day I think it’s important to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. You don’t have to follow traditions just because that’s how it’s always been done, but neither should you feel the need to do something different just because you saw someone else do it on your favourite blog. Have the day that you want to have and don’t try overly hard to please anyone else in the process. Your wedding isn’t a fashion statement or a chance to obtain pseudo-celebrity and neither is it something you’re doing to please your parents or keep anyone happy. It’s a celebration of your love, and love doesn’t care about traditions or trends, it doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. Make it your day, be adaptable, and do it your way.
