TOP SECRET: CONFIDENTIAL
GROOMSMEN SQUADRON
CLASSIFIED: Eyes Only
SUBJECT: Operation Wedlock
MESSAGE RECEIVED 0300 HOURS, SOURCE: AGENT M. THOMPSON, AKA “THE GROOM”. MESSAGE READS:
URGENT REQUEST: IMMEDIATE BACKUP. Situation deteriorating. My captor has devised new forms of cruel and unusual punishment. Whilst now allowed on occasion to leave my cell and even granted brief excursions, I am closely guarded and taken only to places clearly designed to help to break my mind. So far these include rooms filled with unusually high levels of pollenated substances and buildings filled to the brim with huge cakes that I am not allowed to touch.
During these excursions I have uncovered an underground network of possible terrorist operatives codenamed FIANCEES. Each appears to hold prisoner just one downtrodden male and all of those I have seen look equally as bedraggled and desperate as myself. However, through my observations I have gained some limited intel on this group in the hope
that infiltration may be possible to aid my escape.
I note that each wears a unique identification ring, always upon the same finger and the same hand but differing in colour and complexity. Senior officers within the group appear to wear a second ring granting them unprecedented power over their prisoners. Upon greeting one another each ring is examined under close scrutiny and it would appear that a password is given. Unfortunately I have been unable to gain access to this password as it is always disguised by some form of high frequency scrambling device each “Fiancee” carries; to the naked ear it sounds merely like a high-pitched squeal which I fear cannot be tolerated long enough to decode.
They meet often in public places and appear to talk openly in front of myself and fellow captives. However as they frequently exit in groups, claiming to be visiting the toiletry facilities, I can only conclude that confidential matters are discussed out of ear-shot. Based upon my observations it is my belief that this network has infiltrated every level of society across the world, although I suspect the main headquarters to be in Greece: also the nationality of the group’s leader. It is my understanding that this leader is known as “The Wedding”, although little intel can be found on this much feared enemy other than vague reports that he is big, fat and Greek, and possibly disguises himself on occasion as a gypsy.
I hold some faint hope that my guard, codenamed “The Bride”, may not be truly loyal to this terrorist cell: An encoded video message is sent weekly to other members of the group entitled with the clear and specific instructions “Don’t Tell the Bride”, yet she watches avidly, often commenting on parts of it via her communications device to her accomplices. This, accompanied by occasional signs of affection for me, leave me with the hope that perhaps she is working in secret against her peers, however for what purpose I do not know.
Having uncovered this global network it is my intention to remain undercover to gather further intel to protect the male species at large. However I fear that my mind is close to breaking point. If agent Bestman can arrange a meet and deliver a relief package of mind-numbing sedatives, I believe I can remain strong, unravel Wedlock and understand it in full. Phase one of operation Stag is in effect. I repeat, operation Stag is in effect.
Groom, Out.
Great post.