Matt is always writing posts about his thoughts of the week, or as I have affectionately dubbed it “Monday Musings“. But as I am now buried with work from the beginning of the wedding season it is increasingly difficult for me to find the time to write personal posts. When I write I’m not only hoping to help out other brides but to find new ideas for my own wedding; when I’m so busy with work scribbling my personal musings down onto paper isn’t really an appealing idea. Having said that when the occasion has arisen to share my thoughts I’ have found it oddly therapeutic.
But this post is a warning for all brides who also have full-time busy lives; it is very, very easy to let your wedding focus fall to the wayside and before you know it it has been two months and you haven’t touched your wedding planner! I love photographing weddings and I especially love finding out the couple’s stories and their perspectives of the day. I use this to help tell their story on our business blog both in pictures and my own words; I don’t charge for it, it is simply my way of releasing additional creative energies and adding to the story Liam and I tell through the photographs. We want to show the complete story of the wedding, from the bride and groom getting ready through to the guests boogieing on the dance floor, and through the blog I want the reader to feel like they were at the wedding themselves, hopefully the stories add to this. I love the whole process of wedding photography; meeting the couple, sharing and capturing their day, it’s amazing. The only trouble is, I’ve come to the conclusion that if I’m not careful I won’t have a wedding myself! I have so many ideas and plans but when it comes down to it I always choose the couple’s wedding over my own.
On Sundays and, if I’m honest, most evenings I choose to stay late and continue to work and this is a dangerous thing. You have to learn to give yourself a little time and relax and *deep breath* make sure you get around to planning your own wedding.
Let’s face it; we all have busy lives. Whatever your job we all need to find time for ourselves, for the wedding and of course don’t forget our husbands-to-be! It’s very easy to get wrapped up in the wedding and your job and not realise that you haven’t spent any quality time with your husband too.
And guys holding the TV remote in one hand and tweeting with the other whilst sitting next to each other does not cut it! Real quality time is a necessity: face-to-face talking, hugging, holding hands, listening to each other and sharing your stories with one another.
I’m not saying it’s easy. In fact I feel a complete hypocrite writing this as currently it’s 10.30pm, I’m half watching Father Ted, answering emails, facebooking and blogging the latest wedding, texting friends and of course writing this very blog post! Matt is sitting next to me, creating lighting designs on his computer, composing music for videos and twittering! Whoever said men can’t multi-task clearly had never met my Matt! So let’s face it, at the present time I’m failing to live up to my own standards.
However, before the madness started in earnest (no clue why my best ideas start in the evening!) I suggested we go for a walk with Small Dog to have some time to ourselves and to talk to each other properly without the loud box in the corner of the room or our little bear trying to prise us apart on the sofa!  😉
Here are my top ten tips to help you find the time:
1. Make sure you have a date night. It’s so important in your busy lives to ensure that your partner sees you away from the house and in a romantic setting. So get your glad rags on guys and go have some fun!
2. Leave the work at home. Breaking my own rules as I write this but it’s so important to leave work where it belongs: at work. I’m so lucky to have my own business premises so the majority of my work is left at the studio and it forces me to stop editing at a sensible hour… mostly! If you work at home make sure you have a designated space and leave it at the end of the day like you are leaving an office… Don’t tinker!
3. Look at your partner. This may seem so obvious but seriously with iPhones, tablets, laptops and tv there are so many distractions the reality is you can easily keep your head down and never really see each other.
4. Go for a walk. I find that simply getting outside with your partner is enough to feel more connected. Other two massive bonuses too: Exercise (got to look good in that dress!) and you can also pin your hubby to be down for a wedding update! (Something Matt is marvellously good at getting out of whilst we’re in the house!
5. Talk! Make sure you properly chat about each other’s day; be interested, be excited and above all be involved!
6. Take on a mini project together, now I know we don’t have time for anything huge but simply planning to go shopping to decorate the front room is a nice activity (and men do love to have a DIY project to do!)
7. Be open with each other. If one of you feels like you’re not spending enough time together then TALK ABOUT IT! Bottling up your feelings will inevitably lead to problems in the long run and a feeling of alienation can all too easily creep in without you even noticing.
8. Take a mini break – get the laptop out and look out for a cheap holiday together. Find something you both like and go out and spend some quality time. Book it well in advance so you have something to look forward to and can plan your work around it so you’re not distracted. You don’t have to go far; sometimes investigating somewhere close to home can be just as much of an adventure!
9. Wake up that little bit earlier and have a cup of tea together in bed! Get yourself a timed tea or coffee maker to wake you up in the morning and enjoy some quiet time with a refreshing beverage and a spot of reading or conversation.
10. Eat together at the table or go out for a meal every now and then. It doesn’t need to be a big fancy dinner, even a takeaway’s fine if you don’t have time to cook, but switching off the TV for a while, sitting opposite each other and really talking is invaluable. You have to eat after all and it’s hard to type and hold your knife and fork so make use of your time properly! Better yet line up a bunch of wedding breakfast samples and kill two birds with one stone!  😉
So, don’t be a slave to a busy schedule, make time for each other and time to plan your future together, starting with the wedding plans! Be strict with yourself. We love to see people dedicated to their work but creating the time to still have a personal life is equally important and your overall happiness probably resides in finding the balance between the two. Planning the wedding together is both a time saver and a great way of spending more of your precious time actually doing something together rather than leaving it to one person and creating additional stress. Your wedding will only come around once: give it the time it deserves, commit enough time for planning to prevent it becoming more of a stress than a blessing and above all ENJOY IT!!
