We’ve been writing about the wedding planning stages for nearly a year now but there’s one thing we’ve never really talked about… how the heck do you know it is time to take the plunge and actually ask your partner to marry you?
Clearly there’s no one simple answer. If you ask most people they’d probably say “you just know”… true for many people but not exactly easily quantifiable. I guess for me I did “just know” but it seemed I knew it was time to propose about 6 years after everyone else was pretty clear on the matter. So what are the tell-tale signs that you should be replacing your desire to be able to afford food with possession of a small diamond encrusted piece of jewellery?
You can actually seriously contemplate spending all your hard earned cash on a ludicrously expensive ring for someone else rather than buy a Playstation… and Xbox… and beer… and a large bag of salt n vinegar Chip sticks. Actually you can probably still have the Chip sticks, although come to think of it if you’re already eating them secretly so she doesn’t tell you off you’re also probably ready to ask the question!- You know exactly what kind of mood she’s in from the way she says hello on the phone. It’s not about knowing facts about your partner, it’s about REALLY knowing them: their idiosyncrasies, their annoying habits, the way they think about the world. You can never know everything about a person, but you need to understand them if you’re going to marry them.
- You regard your partner as your family. Her family considers you as family. Your family considers her as family. Your mafia family consider her “a friend of ours”… (sorry, I’ve really got to stop watching “Donny Brasco” while writing posts!)
- You can genuinely see yourself having kids together. Ok not everyone wants kids, but it’s definitely a clear sign! (Just to clarify, I refer to human children rather than baby goats… although if you both want baby goats that may also be indicative of two people who should probably be together!
- You find it hard to sleep in a bed without your partner being there, even though their absence generally means you get to keep the blanket and get kicked far less.
- Your partner is your person to contact in case of emergency… even if they happen to be the most useless person in an emergency ever!
- They’re the first person on your phone list. (NOTE: this point may not be valid if your partner’s name is Aaron…)
- You’re not freaked out talking about big life changing stuff… living together, buying fridges, owning a surprising number of pointless small cushions…
- You genuinely can’t imagine being without them… and you’ve felt that way for a long time!
- You genuinely don’t care what other people say. It doesn’t matter if people are asking you about when you’re going to pop the question, it’s nothing to do with it being “about time”, you should only propose when YOU ACTUALLY GENUINELY WANT TO! There is no schedule, it’s about it being the right time for you and your partner, and no-one can tell you when that is. Don’t rush it; marriage should be forever and too many people rush in and end up divorced.Trust your instincts and make absolutely sure it’s right for you.
