Marriage is a Wimbledon Final

This time last year I released a Monday Musings post entitled “Marriage is a Game of Tennis” which ended with the line “oh bugger, Murray’s just lost!” I’m delighted to say that this time there’s no chance of finishing on anything similar, however I thought in light of Murray’s incredible victory yesterday I should print a few corrections. You see apart from the obvious change from loss to victory most of the post still stands up, but after watching yesterday’s game in full I feel I should clarify that although marriage is like a game of tennis, it really shouldn’t be the stressful, nail-biting and gut-wrenching experience that a Murray Vs Djokovic Wimbledon final clearly is…

That said, sometimes you’ll find the wrong call is made, and although you almost certainly will be watched like a hawk, the hawk in question is pretty much guaranteed to prove you wrong every time. It’s no use arguing with the umpire – they’ve already made up their mind and they’re not about to change it, right or wrong, and you may just find yourself getting a cold shoulder, but rarely is it caused by an ice towel around your neck.

Unlike last year though I can take this metaphor a step further and say that the excitement of victory, the euphoria amongst the onlooking crowd, the pride amongst your team and the smiles on everyone’s faces – it’s nothing compared to the excitement of the wedding day.

Little tip though… don’t leave the bride waiting 77 years, she probably won’t appreciate it!

So now that those corrections have been made, here’s the original (now slightly inaccurate) post in full:

Marriage is a Game of Tennis

As I sit here watching this most monumental match in the history of British Tennis it occurs to me that relationships are in a way very like a game of tennis. No, honestly it’s a good metaphor, stay with me! The game of marriage starts for both players at love. There’s a lot of nervous tension at the beginning, a certain anticipation and expectation placed on both. It starts slowly, both players getting to know each other’s style, flirting seductively but perhaps not yet putting your heart into every shot, feeling safe in the knowledge that it’s still early days and there’s no need to commit too far.

As time goes on and the game progresses things start to get more serious and the true courting begins. Other players may be interested in playing you but at some point you begin to realise that this could be the most important game of your life. Play intensifies, the game hots up, it’s looking like being an incredible matchup. Then, all of a sudden your opponent challenges one of your decisions, you each try to get your point ahead, you become agitated and, in the worst cases, one of the players calls for new balls. The rain begins to fall and play is suspended. It’s a miserable time. One can only hope and pray that you don’t have to resort to listening to Cliff Richard songs…

Eventually though the rainy days clear and the players shake hands once again. Play resumes cautiously at first but then it’s all heart. You’re committed, it means everything to you, you get your first glimpse of that glimmering trophy. There are still hard fought points, and when your opponent gets angry as you stand your ground you can only hope she doesn’t start smashing things and causing a racket. But by now you’re both in it for the long haul. Every now and then a little spin is needed when your opponent starts asking big questions of you (no  darling you do not look fat in that…sweatband) but at the end of the day you’re there to enjoy it.

But here’s where the metaphor ends. For as the game is concluded and the trophies are awarded, in the game of life neither player can be considered the loser. In fact, at the climactic finish the players endow a medal upon one another and start a new game; the grand slam mixed doubles final. This game will continue for the rest of your lives but beware, your ball boys and ball girls will one day be ready to find their own opponents!

Oh bugger… Murray’s just lost!

ERM… HAVE I EVER EXPLAINED TO YOU HOW MARRIAGE IS LIKE A TRIATHLON…?