Dear readers,
I’m afraid it has happened. I have developed the dreaded WB disease. Having spent much of my Sunday doing, you know, Sunday things like finally catching up on some sleep followed by a couple of pints at the pub, Matt is officially mused out for the day. Usually creating a blog post is a fairly enjoyable enterprise; a chance to exercise my writing muscles and produce some vaguely amusing if not occasionally informative posts, but when this horrible debilitating disease strikes the victim is rendered incapable of producing a meaningful sentence. Where previously I would have used this, my regular Monday forum, to discuss the serious pressing issues of the day, such as whether Kermit would choose Fozzie Bear as his best man and whether Swedish Chef would handle the catering, instead I am resigned to writing about writers block, an idea so rich in irony that it’s blowing my mind and distracting me from coming up with something to write about… you appreciate my dilemma. But it is at times like this, when struggling for ones art, one looks to their loved ones for inspiration.
Matt, photographed earlier today
Matt “Hey future wifey, look I’m really struggling to come up with a topic for Monday, I need your help, give me some sort of inspiration, ”
Dom “Ahh… you must wash the car”
Matt “Wash the car?? Oh I see, is that some kind of Karate Kid ‘wax on wax off’ style technique to help clear my mind and teach me some sort of breathing technique or something?
Dom “Erm…sure, why not”.
An hour later the car was clean but I still didn’t have any ideas and my fingers had done that irritating wrinkly thing after being soaked in freezing cold water for far too long making it more difficult to type. Becoming a little desperate I looked to the next available person for help.
Matt “Right small dog, you’ve offered inspiration in the past, are you feeling particularly vengeful today? Any aspirations to kill me in an unusual manner and free Dom up to marry you? Anything at all I could write about??”
Small Dog “… … woof?”
Yeah ok, Small Dog doesn’t really speak much but he looked me in the eye as if to say “it’s going to annoy you far more if I just sit here wagging my tail happily at you” then shouted a phrase I have learnt to interpret as “SQUIRREL!” and ran off. I decided I had to look further afield for inspiration.
I logged on to Twitter. Several hours later I logged back out of Twitter, somewhat annoyed that everyone else seemed still capable of writing, still without any inspiration but oddly well informed about Justin Bieber’s upcoming Believe Tour, about which I care not.
“This is daft” I thought, “Just do what you always do, write something daft about the wedding planning you’ve been doing recently.”
And therein lies the problem. For the past few weeks we seem to have spent our time writing about planning our wedding so much that we didn’t actually leave enough time to PLAN OUR WEDDING! I have nothing to report because recently when people have asked me how the wedding plans are coming along I’ve lied and said “just great” or else “what’s that behind you?!” and pegged it out of the door while they’re not looking. We seem to go through spurts of getting lots done followed by weeks of doing nothing at all. With the wedding clawing ever closer this is becoming slightly worrying, although on the plus side it does allow time for my bank balance to occasionally refill before Dominique spots a new way of emptying it again with some new, exciting and inevitably expensive decorative wedding idea.
So perhaps the problem this week lies not in the lack of writing but more in the lack of anything to write about. This cannot be allowed to happen again and so, dear readers, I pledge that this week I shall boldly go where many men have gone before and do some of that wedding prep stuff that Dom keeps nagging me about. I shall be ready to report back my experiences in our next Monday Musings. Either that or I will be ready to tell you all about the finer details of Justin Bieber’s private life that I’ve learnt on Twitter… now THAT is an incentive to do some wedding work if ever I did hear it!
Wish me luck!
