The idea for this post came about when Dom caught me idly fiddling with my wedding ring, taking it on and off my finger and spinning it round without thinking. It’s something that I seem to do when I’m thinking now, and particularly when I’m seeking inspiration for a new Bride Vs Groom post.
I’m not really aware that I’m doing it, but when it was pointed out to me it got me thinking… why do I do it? Why is that when I need to focus or seek reassurance my subconscious draws me instantly towards the ring? Could it be that this is the one? The ring of power? Forged by Sauron himself in the fires of Mount D… oh no hang on, it was made by that bloke from Ernest Jones, I remember now… so I’m guessing there’s probably another reason.
Although I’ve never worn any kind of jewellery (apart from a watch which is actually a piece of mechanical engineering, not jewellery anyway), I never take the ring off. I know lots of men never wear theirs, I’m not sure my dad even has one to be honest, but by wearing mine all the time it’s almost become part of me, just like being married has become part of who I am. When I touch it or look at it I do get a certain reassurance from it without even realising, it makes me think about the wedding and about my wife and it’s strangely relaxing.
I think it’s one of those things that we guys often don’t really get. Dom hates the idea of me taking it off, I guess because she really does see it as a true symbol of my commitment to her that I wear a piece of jewellery even though that’s not something I would normally ever do. Before I started wearing it I probably wouldn’t have thought much of it and would have quite happily taken it off. I understood the importance of having the ring for the ceremony but after that surely the whole being married thing is a bigger sign of my commitment than my wearing a piece of metal around my finger? But now actually I see that symbolism, and I equally hate the idea of not wearing it too.
When buying our rings we did actually spend a fair amount on mine precisely so that I would wear it. We chose a Palladium ring because it’s very hard wearing so it wouldn’t get scratched at work and we made sure I chose a style I actually like, rather than something I just have to wear because I’m married. I had been worried that spending this extra money was going to be an unnecessary expense at a time that was hardly inexpensive to start with, but actually I’m very glad we did it because it really did mean I was happy to wear it.
Wearing a ring may not be essential but for me it’s a good thing, not as a “hands-off” to potential suitors but as a symbol for yourself. Wherever you are you have a reminder of the commitment you’ve made and that even in your darkest hours someone out there is always routing for you.
It’s not just a piece of jewellery, it’s truly a ring of power.