I wanted to take a brief break from musings about our wedding to settle a topic that has been bothering me since well before bonfire night:
IT’S NOT BLOOMIN’ CHRISTMAS YET!!!!!
Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas!! I can’t wait for it and it is my favourite time of year by far. We’re huge kids at heart and to be honest I still keep an ear out for Santa on Christmas Eve. In fact I always feel Christmas goes far too fast.
That does NOT however mean that we can stretch it out so that it starts before we’ve even had Halloween! I mean come on, at that point there’s still two mediocre celebration days to go before you can even allow yourself to think “Hey it’s time to start thinking of Christmas IN A MONTH!” It really ruins the effect when vampires are wearing Santa hats anyway… that kind of thing is reserved for the Doctor Who Christmas special surely?!
So it was with annoyance that this morning I turned on the TV to see the Coca Cola Trucks, the traditional Roman herald of Christmas time, swinging through the snow covered streets delivering their holiday message. Now they may only be singing that holidays are coming, not actually here, but frankly that’s true of any time of year and the insinuation that they’re coming imminently is definitely there!!
The other day my mum asked me what I wanted for Christmas and seemed annoyed that I hadn’t given it even the smallest amount of thought… apparently time is running out before Christmas and I’m beginning to think the only way we can be sure there IS enough time is to get online and buy my Christmas gifts for the following year whilst in the process of opening this year’s hoard. But then if I do that then when do Santa’s little helpers get a break?!! THINK OF THE ELVES, WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE ELVES!!!
At the studio the annual debate has now begun as to when to put the Christmas decorations up. As, whilst walking through town Dom has noticed that all of the shops are absolutely rammed full of Christmas decorations she, perhaps understandably, feels that the studio should probably be decorated too. She is of course wrong, however it’s harder to argue the point when you look across the road at Debenhams and see them putting the Easter Eggs on the shelves!
People of the world, hear me now! Christmas is great but when Scrooge said “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year” it wasn’t meant literally! He was speaking figuratively… and he’s fictional!! He isn’t even Michael Caine in real life, although Gonzo does make a very believable Dickens!
I mean if I were to buy my Christmas tree now then it’d be dead by December 25th! Carol singers are losing their voices all over the country from starting singing Christmas classics in July, Street Santas are sweating in their furry coats all summer and no amount of alcohol seems to help, and the number of chestnut based fires has doubled in recent weeks. Christmas is such a special time in part because it is only a short period of the year. Like a good turkey it should be well basted but not overcooked… or something. Technically I have an unfortunate habit of incinerating Turkey so I may not know what I’m talking about. Anyway, let’s enjoy it but not overdo it, I mean what possible earthly reason could there ever be for starting to celebrate Christmas in Nov…
Hang on, is that a German Christmas market?!! IS THAT A BRATWURST SAUSAGE STAND????!!!!!!
HO HO HOLY CRAP IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!!
Can I have some mulled wine with that please?
Brilliant. Well put. My favourite bit has to be “think of the elves”. Nice.