As the legendary mythical herald of Yuletide, the Coca Cola Advert (other things that taste suspiciously similar to Coca Cola are available) proclaims, holidays are indeed coming. They are, however, not here quite yet no matter what Marks & Sparks would have you believe (Mince Pie anyone?) and (although as I am currently working on a Christmas theatre show and therefore HAVE to listen to carols I refuse to start thinking about Christmas until I can be justly rewarded with advent calendar chocolate.
Apparently I’m in the minority.
Everywhere I go people already seem to be asking “have you got all your Christmas pressies sorted out yet then?” Well no, in all honesty I haven’t even considered them yet… whilst I have certainly been known to adopt a more than jolly demeanour over Christmas time and certainly gain a little round belly by the end of it I’m not actually Santa Clause. I don’t start drawing up a naughty and nice list in January nor start working away in my workshop immediately afterwards making toys for all the children of the world. In a world where virtually any Christmas present is merely a click away (well, technically several clicks, a small logistical nightmare, a day spent waiting for a parcel, several angry phone calls, another week waiting in for a parcel then a last minute panic shop in Poundland as nothing’s turned up) thinking about Christmas presents pre-December is just unnecessary.
I appreciate that there is a certain argument for being able to enjoy the rather pleasant Christmas time atmosphere free of the shackles of guilt that you haven’t yet got any ideas what any of your loved ones can expect in their stocking come Christmas day, but I still say that if you’re one of those spending December feeling all smug watching the rest of us panic buy random goods on Christmas Eve at extortionate prices then you’re frankly misunderstanding what Christmas is all about. You’re also probably the sort of person who reads the emergency evacuation procedures for their local bus route. Christmas may be about sharing and giving and love and family and all that, but mostly it’s about getting so stressed out about presents on Christmas eve that you can feel the true benefit of watching little Timmy play with his brand new shiny doorstop on Christmas day.
After all, who the heck wants a Partridge in a Pear Tree? That just sounds messy.
