Dear readers, I have a confession to make. Whilst the Monday Musings has been a firm fixture of this blog since its very inception there is something you should know. The Monday musings are in fact, normally written on a Sunday.
I know, you’re shocked. All those of you who wake up at 7am sharp to catch my babbling musings every Monday (oh and we admire your commitment by the way but stop it… you should be in bed or at least have inadequate brain function to be able to read at 7am) naturally assumed that I just became unusually museful (no it’s not a word but sod it I like it) at 5am on a Monday (or let’s be honest occasionally 10am during wedding season) and felt compelled to put metaphorical ink to equally metaphorical pen to produce a masterpiece in complete nonsense admittedly in keeping with it’s 5am writing. Sadly though, whilst it was never our intention to mislead, the truth is simply that “Matt’s Sunday Musings but published on a Monday cos otherwise he’d have to get up reeeeeeaaaaaallly early and he’s definitely not a morning person and drivel though it might be he just can’t write it then” just lacked that key aspect of alliteration that “Matt’s Monday Musings” seemed to fulfil. This post though, you’ll be pleased to hear, has in fact most definitely been both conceived and written on a Monday. Well you may be pleased, but I’m bloomin’ well not…
You see the reason that I have only just begun to muse well into what can only be described as stupid o’ clock on Monday Morning is down to delays with another piece of work caused by Sod’s Law. I forget which particular of sod’s many and surprisingly varied laws apply to this particular case though as with any law I’m sure it has some fancy name such as sod’s third law of inopportune technological dissidence, but having had this particular law used against me by an unknown third party on many occasions now I’ve come to refer to it simply as “OH FFS! F*** OFF!!!” Apparently I need a specialist lawyer in the area of Sod’s Laws as very few of my past disputes seem to have reached a settlement and in some more severe cases have caused me to have to pay compensation to Mr. Sod in the form of a new computer/printer and replacement window.
.jpg)
Yes, as is so often the case this evening I have been scuppered well and truly by technological failure purely, it would seem, because I have a deadline to complete something and therefore sod’s law must come into effect. Just as I completed my project, with enough time left still to write this very blog post one might add, Mr. Sod decided to intervene and ensure I should spend the next 3 hours re-doing most of the things I had spent much of the last week doing. In the old days before I became paranoid and started backing things up every 10 seconds this would tend to be in the form of the old “MUM!! THE COMPUTER’S CRASHED AND I HAVEN’T SAVED MY HOMEWORK… AGAIN!!” But now it seems that Sod and his laws have found more inventive ways to prevent many of us from having a simple life, such as technology deciding quite suddenly and without apparent justification to just not work. It will of course have worked 5 minutes before you thought you’d finished and got ready to pack up for the night, it will almost certainly work perfectly the moment your deadline has passed, but for that brief window of (in)opportunity it will, without fail, fail. Spectacularly.
But who is this Mr. Sod and why on earth did we give him the power to implement such wide-ranging and thoroughly irritating rules? He seemingly has power over all technology, the weather, all traffic systems… the list goes on. Surely we couldn’t have elected to office someone who makes continually unpopular decisions that seem extraordinarily detrimental to the public good!?… oh… right. But still, can’t we just abandon these laws and start afresh with things just going the way they’re supposed to?
Sadly I fear that sod and his many laws are here to stay. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and the harder you try to stop it the worse it’ll be. But all this 3am writing is starting to make me sound like a negative person, after all there is one sure fire answer to Sod’s law, one chink in Mr. Sod’s otherwise flawless armour, if you will the sod’s law to sod’s own laws: That’s right, I’m going to go make myself a cuppa tea… a full one not a half empty one. Sod’s laws may get you down but a quick brew makes everything right with the world once more!
Bugger… we’re out of milk.
Well played Mr Sod, well played indeed.
