In the last year or so we’ve been in attendance at numerous weddings where the ceremony has been led not by a priest or registrar, nor even any form of professional wedding officiant at all but by a friend of the couple, asked to create a very unique and personal humanist celebration. So at a time when weddings have become all about expressing yourselves and your personalities and where friends and family often help with everything from making the dress to tying up bunting or hosting the reception in their gardens is a friend leading the ceremony the way to go? Time to put it to the debate!
In the Red Corner, putting forth the arguments for why you should consider having a friend officiating your wedding ceremony, it’s Dom “The Tog Bride”
In the Blue Corner, arguing for having a professional lead the ceremony for your wedding, it’s Matt “The Gormless Groom”
Officiating the Ceremony: Friend Vs Pro
FIGHT!!!
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Dom: Having a friend officiate adds a hugely personal touch to the ceremony which can make it all the more special and really involve someone you love in your ceremony in an incredibly intimate way.
Matt: Having a friend devise and officiate is far more likely to go wrong than with someone who has vast experience in officiating weddings and knows what they should say, how the ceremony should basically run and is used to speaking in the appropriate way.
Dom: With some officiants, particularly registrars you often don’t get to meet the person who will be marrying you beforehand and you often have no connection with them before, during or after the ceremony which is a real shame as they have such an important part to play in one of the most significant moments of your lives!
Matt: For your wedding ceremony to be legally binding you need a registered official to officiate, otherwise you will have to complete the legalities separately rather than becoming officially married at the time of your actual wedding.
Dom: With a friend leading the ceremony you can completely devise how you want the ceremony to be between your friend and yourselves making it so personal and truly about you as a couple, spoken by someone who really knows you as a couple and that’s very special.
Matt: But with a friend there’s always a possibility that they could get really emotional and not be able to deliver the words properly or could just get “stage fright” and forget what they’re supposed to say or miss sections out. With a professional you have someone experienced enough to ensure everything runs smoothly.
Dom: Lately we’ve seen some couples use friends who are actors to lead the ceremony who have been able to speak very confidently, memorise the ceremony and inject a little humour into the proceedings as well which works brilliantly.
Matt: Certain venues (particularly churches and venues with strong ties to the local registration service) will only allow a professional officiant to lead proceedings which may limit your choice of venue significantly)
Dom: Having a friend in charge makes the ceremony wonderfully relaxed not only for the couple but for the guests and means there’s no worries about things running late and the officiant having to depart or rush through the ceremony!
Matt: With certain officiants (particularly professional humanist officiants) you can still work with them to devise the ceremony and make it incredibly personal to you but still have the confidence that you’re working with a professional who knows what to do in every circumstance.
So those are our thoughts but where do you stand? Leave a comment to join the debate or simply place your vote in our poll below!
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