Ok, so in this week’s Friday Fight-Out we’re looking at what could prove to be a slightly controversial debate, having seen it raging first hand between couples and their guests! For that reason we’d like to re-state BEFORE Dom gives me the rough end of the deal that the arguments we each present do not necessarily represent our own opinions on the matter… indeed my dear wife assures me that now that we’re married her opinion is now also mine so there you go! So with that in mind…
Children are virtually ever-present at weddings and seem to love nothing more than twirling around on the the dance floor at the end of the night. They can add a lot of fun to the day but on the other hand we’ve also noted that there always seems to be a child screaming during the key parts of the ceremony and they can often cause chaos. Some couples have, as a result, chosen to actually ban children from their weddings, but is this the right way to go?
We shall see…
In the Red corner, fighting for the kids, she welcomed all children at our wedding with open arms, though she didn’t reckon upon having to look after the groomsmen too! It’s Dom “The Tog Bride”
In the Blue corner, fighting for adults only whilst becoming increasingly concerned at Dom’s desire to have kids present at all times, it’s Matt “The Gormless Groom”.
Kids Welcome Vs Adults only.
Let’s FIGHT!!
Dom: Kids are a great addition to a wedding! They inject so much energy into the day; they run around, looking all cute and have such an amazing sense of fun! They look great in the photos too!
Matt: They may look cute but children can also be real nuisances at weddings! They talk through the ceremony, require entertainment throughout the day and distract the adults from key parts of the wedding.
Dom: Having a flower girl or page boy precede you down the aisle is a lovely tradition and with them looking so cute it’s a great “warm up act” to build the anticipation before you make your own grand entrance.
Matt: But as the bride do you really want to be upstaged by cute page boys and girls? All eyes should be on the bride as she makes her entrance and kids are naturally distracting, particularly for the more broody amongst us!
Dom: If you block children from attending you’re going to upset any parents amongst your guests and make it much more difficult for them to to come if they need to find babysitters etc. Friends have genuinely completely fallen out over this in the past so you need to think very carefully about how they’ll take it if you’re going to stop them bringing their kids!
Matt: You need to provide extra meals at great cost for any children present and most of the time they don’t get eaten! You’ve also got potential transport costs, additional seating requirements and you have to make sure your location is child friendly! It’s a big commitment you have to make when it may only be the parents you actually really want to be there.
Dom: If you’re going to ban children it has to be ALL children if you want to avoid too many upset parents claiming you’re just trying to exclude their own child. That includes banning young relatives and children who are old enough not to be disruptive. Believe me, parents don’t like it when you say their child is more likely to spoil the day than another, no matter how well-founded the logic!
Matt: People often feel uncomfortable drinking and messing around in front of impressionable children and it can prevent your guests truly relaxing and enjoying the day as fully as they otherwise could.
So, there we have it, we’ve presented the arguments and now it’s time for you to decide! Do you think that weddings should be an adult only time away from the children affair or do you think that children MAKE the wedding and without their little presences that weddings would be a much duller place to be?
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A wedding without children would be a very quiet wedding indeed. Its a shame if children are banned. I recently attended a wedding where all children but the couples were banned. I was a bit miffed, as were other parents. Its nice to have children at weddings, it adds to the atmosphere and creates some great photo opportunities.
Thanks for the comment Anthony, it’s interesting to hear it from the perspective of a guest who has kids. Have you photographed many weddings where kids haven’t been around?
I personally didn’t want children at my wedding, especially the younger ones simply because if a child had screamed, cried or ran around while I was saying my vows or the groom, best man, father of the bride were saying their speech, that would have ruined my whole wedding! During the wedding ceremony and wedding breakfast, I wanted things to run smoothly and close to perfect as possible hence I didn’t want children spoiling it. I also wanted all the adults to sit back and enjoy themselves while being apart of my special day. If children were around, the adults would be more careful what they were doing/saying and always watching what the children were doing. For the evening do, I didn’t mind children being there as they can be the soul of the party by dancing round the dance floor and getting everyone involved.
By not having children at my wedding did cause angryness within certain members of the family. However at the end of the day, it was my wedding and I wanted it to be everything I wanted!! And people should respect that.
I’m so glad I can say my day was perfect and I wouldn’t have changed it in anyway!! Even the guests who weren’t allowed to bring their children, thanked my husband and myself saying they wouldn’t of had such a good time if their kids were there!!
🙂
Thanks for the comment Toni, I admit we hadn’t considered the idea of only having the kids for the evening event, you’re right that they definitely can be the life of the party! I wonder whether any of our other readers have done the same?! May cause one or two daytime childcare issues I guess but possibly the best of both worlds.
Most of the weddings i have photographed have included children as part of the celebration. Sometimes when the ceremony, speeches etc are taking place and a baby starts crying, it can drown everything out. Usually a parent will remove the offender so i can see why some couples would exclude children. Before becoming a parent myself i found crying babies at weddings a bit distracting. Now i smile and become all paternal when i hear the the cherubs.
If a child misbehaves, the parent should take responsibility and remove them from the ceremony. It is selfish if they dont. Children do add a sense of laughter and joy to any celebration, but I do agree that at a certain time when the party really starts, children should be removed from being exposed to alcohol and drunk parents/adults.
Its taking responsibility and allowing everyone to enjoy and celebrate.