One of the biggest decisions to consider for when the dust has settled on the wedding day itself is whether or not the Bride wishes to change her surname to match her husband’s or keep her maiden name. It’s an incredibly personal decision and one that we can only talk about in the broadest of terms, but let’s see if we can help you along the road to making that decision with a great big Friday Fight-Out!
Maiden Name Vs Change Your Surname
In the Red Corner, presenting the arguments for keeping your maiden name, she holds a dual name status known professionally as Dominique Shaw and privately as Mrs Thompson, it’s Dom “The Tog Bride”
In the Blue Corner, putting forward the points for changing your surname, although he himself tends to be known more as “Mr T” than his own full surname (please don’t pity the fool), it’s Matt “the Gormless Groom”
FIGHT!
Dom: Getting married is in itself a monumental commitment and in the modern day it’s not really necessary to change your name as well. Changing your name comes from old traditions and it’s now much more acceptable to keep your own name,
Matt: Changing your name helps to make you feel like a family. If you have kids you’ll all share the same name, it helps others to recognise that together you are a unit.
Dom: In business your name is synonymous with your reputation and for a lot of people your name is actually your business name. In an age of social media your name tends to be spread much wider and you may have invested a lot of time and money into getting that name out there on the internet. Changing it can have a very negative effect on your business.
.jpg)
Matt: But that’s only generally when running your own business or if you are, for example, an actress. It’s quite possible to keep your name for professional purposes but change it privately and experience the best of both worlds!
Dom: Changing your name isn’t necessarily a simple process. There’s all kinds of forms you need to change and people to notify and it can become quite expensive with administration fees, new passports, driving license etc.
Matt: Some people just don’t like their surname and this is your chance to change it! You might also have personal reasons for wanting to change your name.
Dom: The fact that it’s still generally the woman that changes her name is surely a sign of inequality. Why should women have to take on a man’s identity? Surely if a name change is to take place it should be through mutual agreement rather than due to a tradition of male superiority!
Matt: If you change your name you become a Mrs. which some people perhaps, rightly or wrongly, attach more respectability and seniority to.
Dom: If you’re an only daughter and change your name there’s a chance your family name could eventually die out. You may want to ensure that family lineage continues.
Matt: Sharing a name is an important symbol of the journey you’re taking together and that you are truly joined in all things.
So those are our arguments but which side are you on? Place your votes below or add to the debate by leaving your comments!
[poll id=”6″]
I can totally see both sides of this, changing your name can be a simple or stressful!
For example In Asian families it’s a cultural thing that you must change your surname as soon as you get married, a big part of this is as Matt said to make you feel more part of your new family. But it also signifies that you’ve left your parental home and family.
When we are born we are given our fathers name as our middle name so people can recognise you are the daughter of that person for example my name was Bhavna Ashwinkumar Pandya (Bhavna daughter of Ashwin from the Pandya family). When you get married you are asked to take on your husbands name as a middle name to reflect whose wife you are (I find this so bizarre!) imagine my name being Bhavna Thomas Barratt!
But also in the Asian culture times are changing and as Dom says many women who have a business or career choose to keep their maiden name as well as take on their husbands surname privately. I know lots of women who are doing this.
I kept both names by going double barrelled with Bhavna Pandya-Barratt 🙂