Do you ever have one of those days where no matter how good your intentions, time just seems to escape you? Where a simple task like going to pick up a Chinese turns out to require an actual trip to China? Where a quick trip to the shops to finalise a pre-arranged phone upgrade ends up in a lengthy heated discussion, four fruitless phone calls to customer service (they really should change that supposedly calming lift music to some angry heavy metal to reflect the true emotions of those kept on hold or at least take requests if your call is so bloomin’ important to them) and finally several hours searching the web for alternative deals. AGAIN! This is of course a completely metaphorical example you understand…
Fortunately, here in this great nation we long ago came up with a solution for all time-sucking activities. An equation more complex to explain than the time-bending fifth dimensional theoretical physics explored in Interstellar. Whilst accepted universally as fact by all but the staunchest of inhumane bosses, even the greatest minds are still at a loss to resolve this strange time-warping phenomena as it seemingly defies our theories of both general relativity and quantum field theory, but nonetheless, however busy the day and however badly behind schedule you may be, there’s always time for tea and cake.
So stop trying to convince yourself you don’t have time, for once that kettle goes on time travels with you. (Incidentally for those that question how on earth Santa gets around every child’s house on earth in one night why do you think he has so many mince pies? and you KNOW there must be a kettle constantly boiling on that sleigh, not only for the time-bending attributes but lets face it, he must be knackered!)
So time to put the kettle on and watch time freeze around you. Just make sure you get the formula right!