It’s been a little while since we last posted a “Top Tips” post but we thought it was about time we offered a little advice for one of the key figures at any wedding: The Mother of the Bride.
The Mother of the Bride role is a tricky one to get right. You need to be supportive but not overbearing, helpful but not interfering. It’s a fine line to tread and we hope these tips will help you on the way!
- If you’re paying for all or part of the wedding make sure you agree a firm budget beforehand so that everyone knows where they stand and you can avoid awkward conversations later when there are elements that you’re not able to pay for.
- Let your daughter and her soon-to-be husband decide on the type of wedding they want to have. Be there to offer advice when needed but remember that weddings are very different now to how they may have been in the past and that certain traditions and styles may no longer be as important as they once were.
- Get ready with the bride. This is of course the bride’s choice but most brides like to have their family around them as they get ready for the day (in fact many brides choose to get ready at their parent’s family home) and it’s lovely for the mother of the bride to be involved in helping lace up the dress and supporting the bride as she prepares for the most important day of her life.
- Be the co-host, not the host. Traditionally the mother and father of the bride have always been considered the hosts of the wedding but these days it is really the bride and groom themselves that are hosting their big day. That said the bride and groom have a lot to think about and do on the day and as mother of the bride it’s really helpful if you can take the initiative in greeting and talking to guests and making sure everyone is well looked after. This is an ideal opportunity to meet some of your daughter and son-in-law’s friends that you may not know as well as catch up with those that you may not have seen since their childhood. Just remember this is the bride and groom’s big day and whilst you play an incredibly important role, they should remain the centre of attention.
- Under no circumstances should you say anything on the day of the wedding that may upset the bride. If you’ve suddenly realised that they didn’t invite that old family friend or if they didn’t take you up on one of your ideas IT’S TOO LATE AND NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BRING IT UP!! The bride does not need to hear negativity on the happiest day of her life so unless it’s something really important that telling them about may actually save the day then it’s best to just keep it to yourself.
- On a similar theme as mother of the bride you’re in the perfect position to help coordinate things on the day and keep any stress away from the bride. Make sure that anyone helping with the day knows that they can come to you with any issues or questions so that you, as someone who’s probably been filled in on all of the detailed plans for the wedding, can solve the problems rather than distract the bride and groom with them.
- BUT Make sure you relax and have fun, don’t JUST worry about how everything’s going. Weddings should be fun, exciting occasions and it’s important that you too enjoy the day your daughter is married. Too often we’ve heard from the mother of the bride at the end of the day that she’s looking forward to seeing the photos or video because she hasn’t really been able to enjoy the day so far out of worry. If you’re the sort of person who by being in a position of responsibility is not going to be able to relax and really live the day then hire a wedding planner to take care of everything for you. The most important thing you can possibly do for your daughter on her wedding day is be there both in body and mind. Don’t let yourself be distracted and not truly experience your daughter’s wedding or you’ll always regret it.